It was a pleasure to record this episode with Carmen. She has such a beautiful spirit and it shines through in our conversation. Carmen brings up a very good point concerning how the lockdowns suddenly turned our lives upside down. It was so sudden that a lot of us didn’t have the opportunity to process what was happening. Now that we are on the other side, Carmen wants to share what got her through and continues to give her strength. 

In short, Carmen acknowledges that her strong faith, her victorious mindset, and her ability to “lean in” is what carried her through and sustains her even now. Be sure to listen to the episode and reach out to Carmen to connect. 

Let’s talk about your capacity to lean in. Have you made it clear to yourself and others what is important to you and where your boundary lines are? It may seem like one has nothing to do with the other, but it all plays a part in creating not only the life that you want but the life you deserve. 

The first matter you need to be clear on is you cannot please everyone. If you try, you won’t please anyone. You won’t even please yourself. And that’s a problem. Can you imagine a life where you don’t even like yourself? Just sit with that for a moment. What came up for you you? Now add in the fact that trying to make everyone like you will cause no one to like you because you won’t be able to give them what they want all of the time. That’s heavy.

When will it be time to stop costing yourself time, effort, and heartache and lean into your life? 

Before you make the decision to make lasting changes in your life, you have to know that people are creatures of habit. They have become accustomed to you meeting their needs and when you stop, it has the potential to make them angry. In the grand scheme of things, it is not important to find out why they are angry. You need to find a way to cope with it. If you are truly unhappy with being a people-pleaser and want to change, you have to commit to the process, even the uncomfortable parts. Even though there will be opposition from others, it will be nothing compared to the opposition that will come from within. 

Words hurt. People can say things to you that you’ve never imagined. What’s worse is that you will say some of those same things to yourself. What do you say to yourself when something happens and it doesn’t go the way you planned? What about when you make a mistake that clearly could have been avoided? Are you hard on yourself? Do you ruminate on the matter each time you think about it? 

This post asks way more questions than it answers. It’s by design. I don’t hold the answers to these deeply personal questions. I am sure you know who can answer them for you. I am glad to go on this journey with you. Click HERE to schedule a complimentary discovery call.